Thursday, November 12, 2015

Selfies & Self Love

Let’s talk: Seflies!

This isn’t going to be another conversation about how we’re a “selfie-obsessed-culture” and how we NEED.TO.STOP!!! Nope.


If you’re not liking where this convo is headed, peace out now, because it’s only going to get better from here!

SELFIES!!! {cue me throwing my hands up and waving them like a crazy lady!}

SO, why am I SO excited by selfies???  Because they are my own reflection of self love and self confidence. They show me how beautiful I am, and then I get to in turn share that with the world.

Why is the world as equally obsessed with selfies as it is with ending them?  Why does confidence make people so uncomfortable?? I can’t necessarily speak for others, but for myself, I cared a lot more about other people’s seflies when I was unhappy with myself.  Now that I’m on the other side of that really hard-fought battle, I really don’t give a shit. Here’s why:

It took 25 years to learn to love myself, and I just don’t have that kind of fucking time to wait for everyone else to catch up.  Do my selfies bother you?? Too fucking bad.

“I’m pro selfie. There are so many bigger problems in the world than girls who think they’re pretty. One of those is girls who don’t think they’re pretty.” 

Do I NEED a selfie to feel pretty? No, of course not. That’s what the god damn mirror is for.  But on those days when I feel especially beautiful, I’m going to take a god damn selfie, I’m going to post it to Instagram and hashtag the fuck out of it, and I’m going to share it, because I fucking can.  I earned that right!  I busted my ass to get through this incredibly hard journey to self love, and one of MY personal favorite ways to celebrate myself is to share my beauty with the world.

Here’s the difference between my selfie and a girl who does not quite love herself yet: I’m not about the “likes.”  I don’t need them. I have my husband, who makes me feel amazing and gorgeous on a daily basis, my 4 year old son who tells me every morning “Mommy, you look beautiful today!” and of course, my heart, where I feel beautiful and it shows in everything I do. I love others especially hard, BECAUSE I love myself.  Once I removed the hate and fear and self-loathing, I had SO MUCH room for love!!!  And I do love fiercely. 

Now, let’s discuss the girl who NEEDS the “likes.” First of all: that’s none of your god damn business.  Period. Your opinion honestly does not matter. I could really just end the blog here and say “TA-DA!!” but I won’t.  Perhaps you don’t get it, which is why you continue being an asshole.  Allow me to enlighten you: those who seek the approval of others where their beauty and worth are concerned ESPECIALLY do NOT need you bashing their need for approval. That is the opposite of love, and acceptance, and helpfulness.  The old adage “If you have nothing nice to say, do not say anything at all” especially applies in these situations.  If a young girl is looking for approval in the amount of “likes” she receives for a selfie, she needs your like, she needs your kind words, and she probably also needs your love. She needs to be told she’s not only beautiful, but also that she’s worth SO MUCH MORE THAN HER PRETTY FACE!!!! Compliment her on her kindness, her ability to listen and problem solve, her willingness to help others, her tolerance for things that you would never tolerate! JUST FUCKING BE NICE TO HER!!!!! And above all, remind her to “be kind to herself, because that’s who matters the most.”  And then take a step back and ask yourself why her selfie bothers you SO much.  We spend little girl’s entire childhoods telling them that they’re beautiful, inside and out, and then their entire adulthoods telling them to calm down and stop with the self-obsession.  What message does that send exactly???  Not a healthy one. 

Spend tonight thinking this one over, and try tomorrow letting a girl know that you appreciate HER, and her selfie. But especially her.


Also, here’s a ton of fucking selfies in case you made it through the post and you’re annoyed with me, because I just do not care! ;)

And the art I promised to share with all new blog posts!!